In love..

I am absolutely besotted with this piece of advice I came across on Facebook a few days ago. Spare a few moments and you might find yourself in love too.

"There was a man who taught us that we should love a woman not just for her looks and personality, but because of the potential she has in bringing us closer to our lord and His paradise. He taught us that just because she is older than you, or has been divorced, does not mean that she will be any less of an amazing wife or an amazing mother. He taught us that the strongest of men are not those that are abusive towards their wives but rather those that are the most respectful and compassionate toward them. That man was my prophet and yours, Mohammad -Salla Allahu 'alaihi wa sallam-. So my dear brother I ask you what will you do to honor his legacy?"

Tho this advice is aimed at the brothers ,that question at the end should be answered by us all. So my dear sister,I ask myself and yourself the same.. What will you do to honor his legacy? 

Until you read again

Ma'assalaam

This life or the next?

I have got to be the most inconsistent blogger there is. With that said let me get straight into my thoughts for the day. Since I've been 'missing' I've been quite busy with my family's first move into our first home on our own :D  and it is this reason that has inspired this post.here goes..

We've been planning on moving for a while , so we had collected and saved up in preparation of the move. During Every shopping trip before ( and after ) the move ,I've had my eyes peeled to spot out items still needed for our home. In amassing all these things we need ( and didn't need ) for our home It dawned on me ,that I am collecting and beautifying a home in a world where it or I will not last forever. Whereas there is a World promised to the believers, that will stretch out into eternity, and what little ,if at all have I prepared for that ? I decided to be honest with myself , and fess up that the time I spend on this world is not proportional to the return it can give me .

 The reality is that it is not really benefiting me where it will matter most. In the Hereafter . Here ,this Quraanic ayah ( and beautiful dua) came to mind :  

رَبَّنَا آتِنَا فِي الدُّنْيَا حَسَنَة ً وَفِي الآخِرَةِ حَسَنَة ً وَقِنَا عَذَابَ النَّار

Transliteration: Rabbanā ‘Ātinā Fī Ad-Dunyā Ĥasanatan Wa Fī Al-’Ākhirati Ĥasanatan Wa Qinā `Adhāba An-Nār

Translation: Our Lord! Grant us good in this world and good in the hereafter, and save us from the chastisement of the fire

Source: The Holy Qur’an – Surat al Baqarah – Verse 201

I realized that it's okay to own things and ask for things in this world so long as the greater objective is not forgotten. So long as the pursuit of Jannah remains priority. So long as we reserve time and love in pursuit of it. In sha Allah. Aameen! 

Until you read again

Ma'assalaam 

Nutella thumbprint cookies

Nutella junkies unite! This recipe is super easy , easy to make,easy on the eye and dangerously easy to devour . It's adapted from the site bubblynaturecreations.com ,here goes..

Nutella Thumbprint Cookies

Ingredients:

1½ cups flour
¼ cup brown sugar
1 stick of butter softened (1/2 cup)
1 egg
¼ tsp salt
1 tsp. vanilla essence
1 cup of nibbed almonds or hazelnuts
¼ cup Nutella in a piping bag

Method:

1. Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius
2. Cream the sugar, butter, egg,vanilla and salt together.
3. Add in flour and mix until combined.
4. Roll dough into small balls (15g)
5. Roll each ball into the hazelnuts until covered.
6. Make an imprint in the centre of the ball with your thumb
7. Bake for 10 minutes or until golden brown
8. Once cooled,pipe the nutella in the imprint.

Enjoy! And try not to eat them all on your own!

Until you read again
Ma'assalam

Beyond belief

I don't get everything I want. I have good days and bad days, and some really bad days.
I forget things and struggle understanding myself and others.
I cry,I shout, I have mood swings and inner tantrums.
I sometimes feel lonely and lost and confused.
I am restless and anxious.
The world doesn't always choose to understand me, or accept me.
I am judged, sometimes wrongfully and without reason.

But I have two eyes that open up to a whole world
A nose that perceives scents
Two ears that keep me in the know
A tongue to Glorify His praises
Two hands with 5 fingers each (to type this)

Am I blessed? Beyond Belief!!
Alhamdulillah

( take the time out Daily to acknowledge the simple yet unbelievably beautiful blessings in your life)

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Searching for me, but finding Him

Soul searching. As cliched as that term may be,it is the easiest way to describe the struggle with the self. It is that struggle that ultimately lead me to where I wanted to be albeit after 6 years. Heres my journey of soul searching ,my journey to Hijaab and the new journey I had not fully anticipated to follow.

Throwback to the early 2000's , I was your typical hipster jeans clad girl, teeny bopper ,whose head was full of ideals and ideas that were not in line with Quraan or Sunnah. I was stuck in that phase where I heard advise without listening to it. Well what changed that? That's what I've often been asked, and I have grappled with the question myself. Truthfully, it was a whole number of things that initiated a very gradual change. For starters,there was that transitional period from secondary to tertiary education Which left me with the sense that adulthood was awaiting after Matric.( tho I had not realized i had already reached it on becoming baaligh). Then there was the loss of four relatives on one day that came with a certain amount of realization that i needed to change before meeting my own end. There was soul searching,lots of if's ,but's and why's. And mainly there was Guidance from Allah, sent through teachers, family, friends and a host of other avenues too numerous to mention.

If memory serves me right(its often unreliable) ,i began wearing cloak and scarf in September 2007. This was a major step for someone who would occasionally wear a scarf when going out. I loved it. It is amazing the difference that 'extra clothes' make. I felt more modest,more respected and my heart was a little more at ease knowing I was closer to complete Hijaab. I think I did mention previously how Deeni studies became my chosen path, well it was during my 2nd year in 2009, that Allah blessed me with full Hijaab ie,concealment of my face and body. It was difficult initially, having to face the odd snide remark and learning to adjust to the boundaries that come with Hijaab. What was most difficult was realizing that Hijaab is not the ultimate in faith. I had naively thought that wearing Hijab would qualify me for a higher degree in Imaan. But i had soon learned that by winning the external struggle, the inner struggle still remains. And it will remain until I depart from this World. Another aspect that I was to learn is that even tho the eyes remain uncovered, they should actually be protected just as much as the rest of the body. The true test of a Hijaabi is in how she controls her gaze.

Sometimes Allah sets us on a quest of self discovery ,simply to find Him. And once we find Him , may we strive to forever remain in His Mercy. Aameen

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Camel frump hijaab

I have been mainly serious in my blog this year,or absent for lengthy unexplained periods. I need to get serious about blogging again but also lighten up the posts a bit. We often forget that our Nabi Saw had every good thing in his life with moderation, joking and being jovial included. So here's my light hearted take on a serious matter in an attempt to remove the melancholy feel of this blog but not lose the focus either.

This one is aimed at us sisters, Not that i know of any brothers who read my blog. anyway, so with Ramadaan having come and gone,many sisters have made effort on donning the Hijaab. Having tread that path once I know the struggle of the straight pins,the bobby pins,and that scarf that never quite sits where you want it to. The struggle has got some sisters experimenting with styles and fabrics ,to keep the Hijaab in place and to make it fashionable as well. The results ranging from beautiful to downright scary. At the top of my most frightening hijabs(if it can even be called that ) is the 'wig hijab' . I didn't just make that up,Google it if you want proof and if you're into horrors. Then possibly the most common and equally disturbing trend is the camel hump hijab. That voldemort wannabe style that every third female is sporting.why? Oh why? Please explain this one to me ,someone? anyone? Apart from making females look like double headed individuals it attracts the curse and anger of Allah. Not cool and definitely not worth it. Seriously tho ( sorry ,I can't help it) ,the essence of Hijaab is modesty. There isn't much modesty where these huge humps and garish clips are concerned.

Il leave you with this pic for a bit of a laugh and with the sincere hope that the essence of Hijaab does not become lost on us.

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Moon moon,come out soon, we want to see the Ramadaan moon

My favorite time of the year is fast approaching. With under a week to go to the most auspicious month on the Islamic calender I find myself to be a bundle of nerves. It is with this abundance of restless energy that I type this post nearing 1 in the morn.

I often sing the song 'moon moon,come out soon' by Yusuf Islam to my almost 2 year old.After singing it to him earlier in the day,it dawned on me how close that song is to materializing. I am just hopeful that I will actually be blessed with the opportunity of seeing another Ramadaan moon. And what a moon it is...
It is that moon that brings the promise of hope and new beginnings. That moon that announces the month of the Quraan. That moon that opens a month whose beginning is mercy,whose middle is forgiveness and it's end freedom from the Hell- fire. That moon that symbolizes a period of sacrifice ,sympathy and Muslim brotherhood.That moon that brings about a month which contains a night Better than a 1000 months. That moon that signals for the big devils to be chained. That moon that introduces to a believer ,days of abundant blessings and increase in reward for ones good deeds.


I then asked myself what else does this moon signify,Especially in my predominantly Indian community? Does it set in motion a month which sees us freeing up freezer place? A month wherein we eat more richly than we do in other months? A month which is merely endured instead of loved? A month that sees youth engaging in fruitless activities nightly i.e drag racing and the like. And then most recently , a month in whose name some festivals and souks are held,wherein fashion shows and other Fitnahs take place?

I shake my head and it hurts my heart that we sometimes attach this month mainly to things of this dunya. I'm not saying that we shouldn't eat, that we shouldn't engage in work/business and that we can't have clean fun,but I AM saying that this month should not be lost over the aforementioned practices. The word Ramadaan comes from the Arabic word 'ramida' meaning Scorching heat, giving it the meaning of the month wherein sins are burnt. Let Ramadaan be about this! Let the emphasis be on reflection ,repentance and positive change! May Allah grant me the strength first to live up to these expectations ,and to derive full benefit from this most amazing month. May Allah bless us all abundantly and keep us all in His mercy! Aameen!

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Sea-scapes

I'm certain you will recognize the talent behind these ,I brag about her often enough. This majestic beauty from our Creator has been captured brilliantly by her and has left me with such a sense of calm, that I feel compelled to share. Enjoy :)

My way Home

Created
The most significant of all creation
A human

Starting the climb
One step,two steps
Steady
Slowly

Steep
Winding
Dips and uphills
Narrow
Constricting
Restricting

Back bent
Brow furrowed
Perspiring
Tiring
Lagging
Dragging
Staggering

Shade
Resting
Catch my breath
Driving
Surging forward
Smiling
I see the summit

Awakening
Shaking
Still alive
Moving
Keep going

I trip
I stumble
I fall

You pick me up
I hold on
Dust off
Up
And nearing
Almost there
Leading
Succeeding

The peak
Stunning
Breathtaking
Just Temporary
The descent
Downhill

Harder?
Easier?

Soldier on
Or Totter along

Older
Slowing
Crawling
Creeping

My end in sight?
No,Just the beginning

I've found my way
To You
I belong
Im Home



Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Is there an easy way to lose?

There is a certainty in life, and it's name is 'loss'. Some will lose jobs, others belongings,there is loss of relationships,loss of respect,loss of trust, we lose friends and loved ones and we all will certainly lose our lives one day.

Loss is as the old adage says 'a bitter pill to swallow' . It's one of those things that no matter how,or if you have prepared for it,it affects you and often hits hard. The way we deal with loss is personal. It is unlikely that any two people will react to the same loss in the same way. Some internalize loss, some deal with it dramatically and some lose themselves in the process. Like with all experiences Islam outlines the perfect code in dealing with loss. The basis of this code being patience and the promise of a great reward for bearing a loss in this manner. It is here where we realize that even when Allah takes from us He gives. Patience is from Him. Understanding is from Him. Acceptance is from Him. He takes what is His and still gives us the means to cope, and the incentive to persevere.

The Messenger of Allah (saw) said, “Allah (swt) says: O son of Adam! If you remained patient restraining yourself and expecting my reward at the initial shock, I will not be happy without rewarding you with Jannah.” (From Abee Umaamah in Ibn Maajah)

“Those who practice sabr (patience) will be rewarded their recompense without measure.” (Az-Zumar 39:10)


I don't think there is an easy way to lose, but there is a successful way. That may not make the most sense but if you really think about it,loss inspires some to great heights. It can drive us to be better,to be stronger and if we are gracious when faced with a loss there is much to gain in both worlds. In sha Allah !

May Allah grant us all ease! Aameen

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Turn up that smile

This week has been heartbreaking. On Monday my grandmothers brother passed on and on Tuesday morning I lost a dear cousin of mine in an accident. At just 23,His passing has left so many of us reeling,and each with a mile long list of memories.

With tears in my eyes and a smile on my lips I struggle to begin to describe the exceptional character he possessed. He was one of those remarkable beings,always full of life and laughter, ever ready with a witty remark and cheerful banter. It was impossible to be in his company without smiling. Another relative of mine mentioned that it was as if he was just here to cheer us all up. Young or old,he engaged effortlessly with everybody and he had the ability to make every person feel significant. People who have just known him,in passing ,have felt his loss. And I think that can only be attributed to his amazing manner and sincere approach . Be it with fishing advice,narrating a story,or a quick game with children ,he shared what he knew and gave of his time without expecting anything in
return.

I could fill blog after blog with all the fond memories he has left us with ,but I want to share a message which I feel his life conveyed. Try to bring joy and smiles wherever you go. Give and give and give until people have no choice but to love you. And it is that love that will make them treasure you ,in their hearts and more importantly in their Duas once you have departed from this world.

May Allah ease this heartache and may he surround our brother Riaz with those who will keep him laughing and smiling eternally.Aameen

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

The cosmetic circus

Crushed insects,bull semen,whale vomit and human placenta . Are you grossed out yet? No? Let's try that again. Crushed insects ,bull semen ,whale vomit and human placenta are common ingredients found in everyday cosmetics. Yup ,stuff that you smear on your face ,apply on your hair and horror of horrors sometimes ingest when applied to your lips.

It bugs me, no pun intended,that people would create products with the aforementioned ingredients. It also bugs me how they usually use the biological names for these ingredients which most consumers would be none the wiser as to what they represent .Take whale vomit for example. Its found in a number of perfumes where it's listed as the somewhat pleasant sounding Ambergris. Then there's Carmine, a red dye obtained from Cochineal beetles which are dried and crushed to a fine powder . It is often listed as e120 and can be found in soft drinks, lipsticks,blush and many varieties of sweets. Ick! Have you ever come across Guanine or Pearl essence? Sounds good,right? Nothing like good old fish scales to add shimmer to your lipgloss,lipstick and nail varnish. Tho these are all really disgusting the worst I have seen has got to be human infant foreskins. It's the main ingredient in an anti aging formula ,Nouricel-MD and tho unfathomable to me,it seems to be quite popular. The world has indeed gone bonkers.


The purpose of this info was not to gross you out,okay maybe It was just a lil,but it was more so in the hope of making you aware and cautious of what you could be using on a daily basis. And I am hopeful that as Muslims we will be more vigilant and make educated choices when consuming or using any products. Your body is your responsibility,don't let it down.

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Compassion quest

There's something wrong with the world we live in. Actually there's a whole lot of things wrong with it,majorly and maddeningly so. Case in point: you might have heard of the fire that destroyed a large number of cars at this years Ijtima , and you may also have heard or seen how callous some people were in response to this disaster.. I run out of suitable adjectives in trying to describe these individuals who think there's anything funny in a calamity like this.

The Ijtima,meaning gathering ,is held annually with the purpose of creating 'awareness of the object of our creation and how to link all mankind to our Creator Allah, and to encourage all to establish the life of our beloved Nabi Muhammed (SAW)' . It is attended by thousands of Muslim brothers who are seeking spiritual reform and advice regarding Deen (Islam) . This year the Ijtima returned to the place of its inception (In South Africa) ,at Mia's farm in Gauteng.A few of these brothers were tested in the first morning of the Ijtima when a blaze engulfed their motor vehicles ,destroying them completely. Many mobilized to assist in dousing the flames and then there were some who found the situation amusing, circulating jokes about the incident. I was horrified. What uneducated,cruel mind conjures up facetious remarks when another has suffered a loss? It's appalling,and it alludes to the ever diminishing qualities of kindness , sympathy and mercy amongst man today.

Also,i need to make a quick mention to all those who look down at the Ijtima in general and who mock those brothers involved in Jamaat work. Remember that Nabi SAW's life was spent inviting others to Deen , so if you make jokes about the work they do,you may actually be mocking the Sunnah.(Allah forbid)

Implore Allah to guide us all to being people who are not sardonic and sadistic. May our hearts and minds be filled with mercy and compassion instead! Aameen


Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Nutty chocochino

I know I said I'd share more baking recipes and tips but somehow I just don't get down to it. I had every intention to share a cake recipe this week,complete with step by step pictures,but I missed a pic at a crucial stage and hence that post will have to be postponed until i bake that cake again, Sigh. Anyway I decided to sort of make- up for it with a quick ,delicious milkshake recipe that I created today.

Ingredients :

2 cups of milk
2tsp coffee
2T choc syrup
4 scoops of vanilla ice cream
4 almonds
Sugar to taste

Method :

Blend all of the above together until smooth and creamy. To serve ,drizzle choc sauce in a glass. Pour in the milkshake and decorate with choc shavings or sliced almonds.

If you're not a fan of crunch,simply omit the almonds.

Now go impress someone with your crazy blender skills :P

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

A sister's love

I was invited to a supper earlier in the evening and something I saw there gave me a 'blogspiration' .It was an absolutely adorable, kind, heart warming, make-you-wanna-get-emotional gesture,that has got me blogging at 00:28 AM.

The supper was a garden buffet so most of the guests were seated outside. When we got there the weather was warm but as the evening progressed a chill crept in. I noticed two sisters who were seated a short distance from me ,one of whom looked to be about 9 and the other around 5. So anyway,when it got cold the older sister held her younger sister on her lap ,and wrapped her up in the cape-like garment she was wearing. She cuddled her and kept her warm until their parents were ready to leave. I just stopped and watched them. I was so enchanted by this utterly sweet gesture but no,i was not entirely surprised. Coz I know what my sisters do for me and what they have always done for me. That's a sister's love. Its as simple as that.

May Allah forever keep our sisterly bonds strong and reunite us with our sisters (and all other family members) in Jannah! Aameen!

*blogspiration - that's my new word,meaning the impetus behind a blog post. Add it to your dictionary (it's in my fictionary)
*fictionary - a collection of words that do not exist (but which I choose to use anyway)

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Don't inflict your history upon someone else

I read Jodi Picoult's 'The Storyteller' this past weekend and it turned out to be one of those haunting reads.Brilliant,no doubt, but haunting in that the characters stay with you long after you've closed the book. It largely centers around the Holocaust ,so it was with a sense of disillusionment that I realised just how horrifically history is repeating itself. Except now ,the Jews are the Nazi's.

What Hitler and his army did was vile,repulsive and downright atrocious. And that's exactly the direction the zionists in Palestine are headed. I struggled to grasp how a nation who was once oppressed ,now effortlessly inflicts similar torture upon another nation. But then I reminded myself that this is so commonplace amongst individuals as well. The man who cursed his drunkard father ,could scarcely remain sober later on in his life. The girl who was repeatedly beaten up by her parents ,turned on her own children eventually. The kid who couldn't hold his own against the bullies in the playground ,abused his subordinates in the workplace. See where I'm going with this? It sometimes happens that we become the very thing we had previously put up a resistance against. In some people the effect of habit could be marginal, but in others it could determine their entire character or behaviour.

I personally don't think that ones behaviour can be excused based on exposure to the same in the past. We have intellect and reason and we should employ these to make sound decisions and choices. The past and what we have been through ,if negative, should serve to motivate us to improve ourselves and try to steer away from that negativity. It is so disheartening knowing we can inflict the same damage upon others ,knowing full well what that torment and suffering feels like.

We are not animals.As laughable as that reminder may seem it is precisely what some people need to hear. If you have been abused,mistreated,teased and ridiculed make sure you protect others from the same. Evil is not inherited, it is something that takes choices to get to. May the Almighty guide us to choose the correct path every time,and if we slip may He return us to His path!Aameen

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

in my fathers ' finger-steps '

Okay,so that last word in my title does not exist,but i could not find an apt enough word.My father is an amazing photographer whose collection probably spans well over twenty thousand. He however has not published any of his work.My sister has recently taken up photography as a hobby but i do hope that she does not follow my father in that regard(not publishing her work). Tho new in the field , she already shows promise and i would love to see her work on public platforms. Let me treat you to some of her flashes of brilliance.




Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Regret keeps your feet on the ground

Some of you might have read this as I wrote it a while ago, so here's a reminder for you and a helping of food for thought for the new readers.

Have you ever woken up one morning completely content with who you are.Pleased with your present behaviour ,at ease that your past is where it is,and positive that your future has only the best in store for you.Whilst being hopeful is most often a good thng,too much of it can be dangerous. Especially when that hope makes us complacent.The reality is that we need the element of regret 2 keep us grounded. Here's my take on why.
Regret by definition refers to the act of repentence or to feel remorseful.So,if we happen to remove that from our lives we would be a band of unfeeling barbarians, unconcernd with our mistakes or with change. In essence,if we do not regret,we do not repent. And if we do not repent, I shudder to think of our final abode..

In keeping this brief ,let us all resolve today to ammend our ways and do good deeds seeking the pleasure of Allah.In that way we need not spend all of our time regretting.Rather,let us maintain that balance between hope and fear and InshaAllah on the Day of Judgement we wont be swimming in a sea of regret!!

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Brides like us...

My mum is a caterer and on numerous occasions she's told us about the bridezillas she has had the ' pleasure' of encountering.I have also seen firsthand how some brides behave ,fussing ,moaning and antagonizing others over the smallest details. Sure, as a bride,it is your day but that does not mean you have to go in full on diva mode being nasty and arrogant to others. So here's a tribute to the brides with grace and respect ,who understand that beauty is not just in their make- up, dresses and hall decor but most importantly in how you carry yourself.

From a young age,my sisters, a few of my cousins ,nieces and I have meshed really well.thinking back on the type of brides we were its easy to see why we've had that bond. It all began with S a few years ago. The night before her wedding she had mehndi ( henna) on her arms and legs but insisted on making our beds as we were her guests at her home. Thereafter was Z, who helped with her entire reception,and I mean ENTIRE.She had a hand( well both hands) in it from start to finish,she planned,she cooked,set tables,she even cleaned up! She had no professional make up or hairstyling done ,but she was gorgeous and dressed in like 15 minutes. Then came J whose wedding was planned in under 24 hours.A simple,no fuss evening was spent at her home and she was so loving and grateful to all those who helped pull it off. I was next in line, tho I don't remember much I do remember my aunts scolding me as I was decorating cupcakes that morning instead of going to get dressed. My sister says she remembers my entourage of lil girls (my nieces) and how thrilled they were ,milling around me all morning.Next to wed was F. The night before her wedding she played games with the rest of us 'nazm chairs' and thunee to be precise.At the Walima She welcomed her guests personally and continued to mingle throughout the day. She also hugged and thanked each of my mums workers which is something I haven't seen before. Last of the wedded was A. She too mingled with her guests and had no separate table or stage. I recall her kneeling down at one point ,with no mind paid to her dress,whilst she chatted to a guest seated at a table. There are a few more left in line to get married and I have no doubt that they too will be undemanding brides.

Your wedding day should be one filled with love ,light and happiness. Don't mar it by being petty and catty. Behave respectfully and let it be a day that you and others remember fondly.

Belated but special mention to Z who gave me the idea for this blog.


Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

No humor in death

The day after my last blog post ,the paralympian Oscar Pistorious killed his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp at his home. Tho details are still sketchy regarding the truth of what happened ,it somehow felt so surreal hearing the news that morning. Whichever angle you look at it ,this tragedy spoke volumes about the type of society we live in.

Most people seem to have an opinion of what happened that morning, I am still 'sitting on the fence'.I do however,take a strong stance against the jokes circulating in regards to the killing.I find nothing remotely funny about death and paraplegia. In this case, a woman is gone, her chance at this life is gone ,a family's loved one is gone. There is no excuse for being insensitive to the loss of life or ridiculing of people with disabilities based on the yet to be confirmed actions of an individual.
Regardless of whether the victim was Muslim or not,our Deen is one of mercy and it demands us to show respect and compassion.
" The one who doesn’t show mercy on the people, Allah will not show mercy to him." (Tirmidhi)

Tragedies like these should serve to remind us that as humans we are not infallible and that we should constantly make Dua ( pray) that Allah saves us from the same. We are all to leave this world and we have no clue when and how it will happen. May the Almighty be most pleased with us on that day! Aameen.

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Know when it is worth holding on to...

Following the brutal rape and murder Of Anene Booysen, social media has erupted with discussions,activism and protests against rape.A discussion that I came across ,spoke of how a large percentage of rape victims are raped by people they know,be it 'family' , 'friends' or acquaintances. A sub discussion emerged regarding abuse within marriages and this together with a conversation I had with a lady regarding marriage norms in the previous generations ,inspired this blog post.


I cannot speak for everyone nor can I generalize,but I will use the word 'some'.So as it went ,this lady told me of the difficulty some woman faced in the older generations. The time period we discussed was around the 1930's - 1970's. She told me of the immense work loads these woman were burdened with ,coupled with constant abuse ,emotional as well as physical, from their husbands and their in laws They were trapped in loveless and merciless marriages. Why? I wondered and she further elucidated that these womens families,the fathers in particular, would tell the women that under no circumstances were they allowed to return home. Meaning they would not accept them being divorced.
As disgusted as I am by that warped mentality ,I am more disgusted that it still occurs today.some woman are still bullied and suffer emotional and physical torment at the hands of the ones who are supposed to be their protectors. Again i ask why? Why does this happen an why do these woman stay in these situations.I think it is attributed to so many different reasons ,depending on the individual's situation. But I also believe that age old mentality still exists where there is a a stigma attached to divorce.Some woman fear the label 'divorcee' so they would rather put up with the abuse repeatedly ond some hold on to the illusion that by staying in the marriage they can change the man.
To all those woman who are in such marriages ,i have this to say.If a man abuses you physically he does not deserve you and neither does he love you.if he constantly swears you and belittles you,he does not deserve you. If he cheats on you,and I also believe that is a form of abuse emotionally, again he does not deserve you . Such men are greedy and love themselves. If you have tried but to no avail,then sometimes you have to learn to respect yourself and your children ( if you have any)and seek the necessary help.Allah did not make a woman an object of ridicule, He has honored us and 'placed Jannah at our feet' !! He has also placed avenues for an abused woman to get out of a seemingly hopeless situation. Divorce is permissable in Islam ,yet it is highly disliked by Allah and should not be taken lightly ,thus it should be only used in compelling situations.

This message would be incomplete if I made no mention of the amazing men(my mister especially) who know the value of their woman and treat them respectfully.these men in turn deserve our respect and love and they deserve our efforts in preserving our marriages.These marriages are worth holding on to regardless of minor differences we might have.Arguments will naturally always occur but we should always seek to resolve these with dignity and reconcile our differences.It must also be noted that it is not only woman who are abused,there are some men who are also oppressed in their marriages.We need to rid our communities of these ills and implement good manners in our children!InshaAllah


There is so much that can still be said on this touchy subject but i ask you and myself to remember this and live by this in our marriages. Marriage is a sanctified bond,it is a commitment to each other which we need to honor by fulfilling the rights of each other,InshaAllah!

May Allah fill our homes with love,light,happiness respect and mercy! May He guide us to Jannah with our spouses by our sides.
Aameen!

Do share your opinions with me on this subject if you agree or feel differently.Your feedback is much appreciated.

Until you read again
Ma'assalaam

Wednesday wisdom

"Your life, with all its ups and downs, has molded you for the greater good. Your life has been exactly what it needed to be. Don’t think you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you to the current moment. And every moment of your life, including this one right now, is a fresh start. If you have the courage to admit when you’re scared, the ability to laugh even as you cry, the nerve to speak up even if your voice is shaking, the confidence to ask for help when you need it, and the wisdom to take it when it’s offered, then you have everything you need to get yourself to a better place. Allah gives you tests to make you stronger. Allah knows what is Best for us."

If you're thinking she couldn't possibly have written that,well
you're right. I don't know who the author is but that message was too full of hope and wisdom to not share it with you.

Until you read again
Ma'assalam

Words bigger than I am!

Ive had much feedback recently from you lovely readers,and I must thank you for giving me something to really exercise my brain with.it all got me thinking of the perception that is held of me,and whilst I'm glad most of it is good I also realize that my words are bigger than I am.If that makes no sense read on and I'll fill u in.

A scholar once mentioned something about how his wife would enthusiastically listen to his lectures prior to their marriage,and after marriage she commented that he sounded more pious( in his lectures)than he was (in reality). This I can relate to. We sometimes present an image of ourselves that is so far from the truth.And in presenting this image for the benefit of man ,we fail to grasp that it is Allah who we need to impress and aim to please.I'm not suggesting that we expose our wrongdoings and sin openly,but simply lets strive to be of those who practice what they preach,who live up to their good words and advice. This not only steers one away from hypocrisy but is so much easier to respect and accept the advice of one who lives by his words.And who better to aspire to in this regard than our Nabi S.A.W.

I make dua that Allah makes my good actions greater than what I have advocated and may He save us from being amongst the hypocrites! Aameen

Until you read again
Make a special Dua for me and mine please on this blessed day of Jumuah

Ma'assalaam

Battery low

I read a lovely post today about a husband ,addressed to a wife. It said something to the effect that if you are constantly upset ,irritated and moody with your husband then perhaps the problem lies in your Imaan being 'low' instead of there being faults with your husband.

Did you experience that 'wow' moment when you read that? Did your synapses click furiously as it dawned on you that you know precisely how that feels? It might not necessarily be with your husband that you experience those
emotions,it could be with anyone.It may be with your mother, perhaps a co- worker or your BFF but the underlying cause remains the same in most cases:your Imaan is desperately In need of a recharge!
Over the course of our lives we undergo numerous highs and lows. With most of us,the same can be said for our Imaan.There are periods where our negative emotions 'own' us,where Shaytaan sees our weaknesses and capitalizes on them.Granted ,a few people behave atrociously and warrant our being upset with them,but the reality is that most people aren't as bad as we make them out to be in our minds. It's often denial of our own faults that makes us see the worst in others and hence be constantly annoyed by them.This all boils down to a deficiency in our Imaan.for if we possessed superior faith,we would adopt the ways of our Nabi S.A.W. and see the best in others or be patient with them.We would also realize how short our stay in this world is in comparison to the everlasting abode in the Hereafter, and thus not let minor things affect us.Our belief in Allah and His mercy would steer us away from living so negatively.

It's time to let go of the hatred and hurt inside us.Time To let go of the petty things that seek to drown us in ,anxiety,depression and resentment. Time to lift our hands to our Creator in Dua and to lower our heads into our Quraans to attract His love and peace into our lives. Time to build our Imaan,to build our contentment on this earth and ultimately build our homes in Jannah! Inshaa-Allah!!

May the Almighty give me the strength first,to renew my faith in Him and always turn to Him!Aameen

Until you read again
Ma'assalam

Give a little of yourself

"Cure your greed,purify your wealth,look around at where you live,look at all the good you have to give ,give a little of yourself"

I love those lyrics by Dawud Wharnsby.They encompass the very spirit of generosity and charity taught to us as Muslims.Tho, so often we find our hearts hardening and our hands tightening around our material wealth.A truly pitiful state since nothing really belongs to us,the wealth we may possess is in reality just loaned to us by The Almighty for the duration of our stay on this earth.Sometimes Allah gives us wealth to test our ability to give it back in His path.Free up some space in your wallet or closet and earn blessings in this world and reward in the next!
Another aspect of generosity ,has nothing to do with physical wealth.Regardless of being a princess or a pauper you can give this charity with ease.
Give of your time whether it be with the sick or the elderly.You will lift their morale and they will make dua for you!
Tactfully advise and console those who need it.Share a word of encouragement ,be a shoulder to cry on.
Most importantly give of your heart,be it through your smiles or the concern in your eyes,you are guaranteed to make a positive difference or change a life for the better ,InshaAllah!!

I am ever greatful to my parents,my mother in particular for providing an exceptional example when it comes to giving.All who know her will attest to this fact and if I am to spend my life thanking her for all she has done,I will still fall short.

Until you read again
Ma assalaam