no pretences

we had a gathering of woman at our home yesterday.being fairly new to this place there was much fuss over me and many hands to shake.most were much older than me and i have this to say of the company of elders.

1.they are easy to talk to despite the huge 'generations' gap.
2.they dont care about what clothes you have on,if your shoes are the right brand or if your headgear is sitting as it should.
3.they hug atleast twice before getting to the gate at their departure
4.they give sound advice and duas (prayers & well wishes) regularly
5.they try to establish some relation with you,even if it be through your second cousins mother in law
6.they feel no need to gossip or pick on others( well this group of ladies anyway)
7.they smile constantly despite their niggles and aches
8.they exude warmth, something our generation cant even fake
9.they are what they are,no pretences

i smile fondly at how welcome they made me feel, and i hope someday i will make someone laugh and smile as they did with me.

until you read again
ma'assalaam

when we lose our way

"Improve your secret and private life, and Allah will improve your public and social life." that quote triggered a number of thoughts and a fair bit of soul searching as they would call it.its such simple,clear advice and is exactly what we need to mend our ills.

most vices begin when we think no one is watching.if we have experimented with any illegal material or engaged in any inappropriate activity,its unlikely that our moms or dads were spectators.we often lose love and trust by those illicit actions committed in private which somehow surface later on. this brings me to the notion that if we guard our behaviour closely whilst  in seclusion its probably going to save us on all fronts.we must remember that the Creator sees and knows all.we may hide from our parents or spouses but theres no hiding from Him..the trick is to be the same person you are in public and in private-and let that person be good!!  we cant be perfect,thats been established, but to be good we dont need to be perfect. it just requires constant effort in  guarding our eyes, what we hear,guarding our tongues and protecting our nether regions.hehe. we make that effort and its what we will be rewarded for inshaAllah(God willing) 

the clubs,movies,drugs,bribery,lying,cheating,music,pornography,stealing etc. in private and in public are not for us,and nor will they ever be.we have been blessed with the best way (Quraan  &  Sunnah), its time we live up to it! inshaAllah

until you read again

ma'assalaam

 

el misereble

this post is way overdue,but not without reason. for the past 4 days ive been a bit grouchy, grumpy and had taken a firm liking to my bed.im not much better today but i did not want the risk of my blog feeling neglected. that feeling often leads to rebellion and im not up for a battle with anyone,so here goes.

being sick ive realised is one of the greatest blessings bestowed upon man.you might not see it when you feel like turning your throat and  lungs inside out,giving them a good scratch and returning them to their positions.nor when you feel like you might have coughed out a capillary or 10. you notice it as your symptoms peter out.after  sitting in bed for a few days straight you realise the value of your time.the value of your health,and most definitely the value of those around you who try patiently to nurse you back to health.as muslims we also know that whilst being sick our sins are expiated like with any trial we are afflicted with and bear patiently.

so looking  past the sneezes,the minor plumbing problems with the eyes and nose, the ghastly concoctions and seemingly endless coughs there's much light at the end of the tunnel..

until you read again
ma'assalaam

'someones'

life throws at us numerous challenges often in the form of fellow humans.and sometimes it nudges into your path someone who is the antithesis of that.who patiently helps you overcome the obstacles and eases the road.someone who redefines friendship and removes the shadows for you to see every color in the rainbow..

 the more i think of these 'someones' the more i wonder of the road to take to become one.its sure to be paved with kindness, wit,intelligence,honesty,sensibility and wisdom.we are given the opportunity daily to travel down this road but often ignore it for what we deem to be more important.that makes me think that these 'someones' are organised..not to the point of OCD but where they have achieved the balance that allows for growth in every aspect of life.

above all these 'someones' have a keen sense of understanding.taking you on your merits and allowing you the space to blossom. its simply  that 'i get you'   feeling that we often struggle to find. whether it be with a mother, a teacher or the love of your life,that feeling and these 'someones' are something to be cherished, to be grateful for and to aspire to.

until you read again
ma'assalam

so close yet so very far

i cant imagine what those who move away from their homeland must feel.and i hope i dont ever find out.moving 3ookms away from my home was hard enough and the nostalgia doesnt seem to loosen its grip..

technology allows for daily interaction with my family,yet somehow its still not enough.i may sound ungrateful but it simply doesnt replace the way being together makes you feel..the smiles and attempts at tickles,mealtimes and teatimes ,the hugs and the silliness.for all its advancement warmth is something that technology cant quite convey.u may talk to the person,even be able to view them but it wont change that they are miles and miles away.

i pack my bags and ready myself for a weekend at home.let technology take the back seat for a few days.dont miss me too much

until you read again
ma'assalam

va-mousse

at my wits end,or incredibly close,that was me at 9:30pm last night. after a bitterly bitter mousse experiment,lack of icing sugar and 1 carton too less of fresh cream i was about to throw in the towel and a new customer away.step in husband to save the day(or night),and you remember why you love him so much..

let me bring u up to speed coz the intro is a bit sketchy.i had an order for choc mousse cupcakes and i was rather delayed in purchasing the ingredients for the topping.consequently i couldnt find what i needed and there werent many shops open at that time. so i had to make a completely foreign recipe which frankly came out disgusting.i went moaning to my husband about my failure and he took me out at a little before ten on the search for fresh cream!ah,my knight in shining kurta!

phew, that was close.the kitchen was closed before midnight with me learning some valuable lessons.i also learned that  if i do happen to slip up i know i have back up! ;-)

until you read again
ma'assalam

disaster management

bloggers the world over have probably been inspired by what they have seen from recent events in japan.The images iv seen still send shivers down my spine as i recall the absolute carnage.It got me thinking that whilst we may be  insignificant in the face of 10m tsunami,the human spirit and drive to continue despite being overwhelmed is anything but insignificant.

if we really ponder about the course our lives have traveled,its plain to see that we too are resilient in the face of disaster.we may not face disasters of the same magnitude,but we are tested on a regular basis with 'mini disasters' .the difference being you get no press coverage,no relief aid and no trauma counseling .take nothing away from what the Japanese have gone through,im  trying to emphasize the fact that we were made stronger than we think. and we get through lifes challenges only with the assistance of our Creator.Furthermore we can identify in some way with the plight of the Japanese and make dua(pray) for their guidance and safety.

Natural disasters are often a punishment from our Creator,a test for the righteous and a warning of the final hour.
Sad to say it affects us not. Our hearts still stray and our actions take us no closer to the mercy of Allah. Be the relief worker in your own life.Sift through the spiritual corpses and work on the survivor.find light where there was once darkness..

until you read again
ma'assalaam

growing up..no matter how slowly

giggly,floaty,there yet not quite..yup thats me..u could be talking to me about fish and my mind would be registering the production of cheese.ive usually got too much on my mind to focus on 1 thing at a time.it proves especially embarrassing when im staring into the fridge or a cupboard ..for a good few minutes before remembering why im actually there.also when given any instructions i usually nod and say yes at all the right places without having absorbed a word.. call me a slow maturing scatterbrain and you are right on the money..

now to the maturing part..i had an appointment today with my gp, and whilst her poking and prodding is probably routine for any pregnant lady,i was largely uncomfortable..im just grateful that i didnt laugh through the examination and give the game away as im sure i must have been beet red at some point..i seem to have planted my feet firmly in the phase where it takes very little to make me laugh.how does the saying go?small things amuse...yah yah yah,im just happy okay!not such a bad thing considering the type of world we are in.. or so i keep telling myself..

im married,yes,im legally an adult,yes,im pregnant,yes, so you see i am growing up or well growing wide..


until you read again
love ,peace and light

WHAT IS THEIR SECRET?

The companion (R.A) fought fiercely that day, striking fatal blows to the opponents and suffering many wounds , and one of them left a deep gash in the companion's (R.A) shoulder, which took a whole year to heal. the companion (R.A) related some of what had happened during that battle. "I realized that people fled leaving the Prophet, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, exposed," , "So less than ten men remained to protect him, while the others were passing by, defeated. The Prophet, sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam, saw me without a shield and saw a man leaving the battlefield carrying his shield, he said, 'Surrender your shield to the one who is fighting.’ He surrendered it and I picked it up and used it to shield the Messenger of Allah. But those who gave us the hardest time were the horsemen, if they were on foot like us; we would have defeated them, insha'Allah. A cavalier came towards me, but he was unable to strike at me because I protected myself with the shield. As he was turning back I dealt a blow to his horse's hamstring and he fell on his back...

And that is but a small snippet of the bravery of a Sahaabiyat (R.A)..No,not a male,her name was Nusaybah Bint Ka'b (R.A).. amazing, is it not? its almost unimaginable in our time. if the female of today is not moaning about how her domestic ironed her clothing shes complaining about the lack of clothes in her closet. you sometimes hear the mention of the 'it girl'.the 1 who seemingly has it all, good looks,well educated,enough clothes to supply a few stores and definitely the ability to attract attention . i call for the redefining of the term 'it girl' .. let her be the one who is mature and accomplished,who has sublime character , common sense and wit,who is helpful and charitable without being asked and possesses  beauty that she feels no need to expose. But  above all has a fierce commitment  to her Creator.


let us be those women,those shining examples inshaAllah..who when they are observed by others prompt the others to ask ,'What is their secret?'

until you read again
ma'assalaam

wise words following a busy day

RESPECT

RESPECT: Respect is a lesson that everyone should learn Respect must be given before an expected return Respect is something that’s given for free Respect is about us and never about me Respect is the basis on which relationships are founded Respect is the anchor that keeps a person well grounded Respect builds the character and defines who we are Respect sets the standard and raises the bar Respect is magnanimous and helps to fulfil Respect is the partner that sits with good will Respect is like honey so sweet it’s perceived Respect a taste to savour for when it’s received don wilson

sincerity scenes

The Holy Prophet Muhammad (saw) has related: "Three persons from the tribe of Bani Israel got together and started out on a journey. On the way, clouds gathered above them and it started to pour with rain and so they sought shelter in a nearby cave.
Suddenly, a large boulder slipped and blocked the entrance to the cave, trapping the three inside and transforming the day into a dark night for them. They had no other alternative except to turn to Allahn (SWT) for help.
"Let us use our sincere deeds as a means to obtain deliverance from this predicament," suggested one of them. All the others agreed with the suggestion.
One of them said, "O' Lord! You are aware that I have an extremely attractive cousin and that I was infatuated and obsessed with her. One day, finding her alone, I took hold of her and wanted to satisfy my carnal desires, when she spoke out to me saying: O' My cousin! Fear Allah (SWT) and do not harm my chastity. Hearing this, I crushed my lustful tendencies and decided against the evil act. O' Lord! If that deed of mine had been out of absolute sincerity and only for the purpose of acquiring Your pleasure, deliver us from grief and perdition."
Suddenly they witnessed that the huge boulder had moved away a little, faintly brightening up the interior of the cave.
The second person spoke out, "O' Lord! You know that I had a father and a mother, so old that their bodies had bent over due to their excessive age, and that I used to tend to them regularly. One night, having brought them their food, I observed that both of them were asleep. I passed the entire night near them, the food in hand, without waking them up for fear of disturbing them. O' Lord! If this deed of mine had been only for the sake of Your pleasure and happiness, open up a way for us and grant us salvation."
As he completed his speech, the group noticed that the boulder had moved aside a little more.
The third person supplicated, "O' Knower of every hidden and manifest! You know Yourself that I had a worker who used to work for me. When his term had reached its termination, I handed over to him his wages, but he was not pleased and desired more and, in a state of dissatisfaction and displeasure, he went away. I used his wage to purchase a goat, which I looked after separately and very soon I had a flock in my possession. After a period of time, the worker again approached me for his wage and I pointed towards the flock of sheep. Initially, he thought I was ridiculing him, but later, realizing my seriousness, took the entire flock and left. O' Lord! If this act had been prompted by sincerity and had only been for Your pleasure, deliver us from this quandary."
At this point the entire boulder moved aside from the mouth of the cave and all three emerged from it, joyous and ecstatic, and continued their journey.'

 SINCERITY SHOULD BE PREVALENT IN EVERY FACET OF OUR LIVES.IN WORSHIP,IN OUR DAY TO DAY ACTIVITIES AND IN HOW AND WHY WE INTERACT WITH PEOPLE.  A STORY MAY BE WRITTEN WITH MANY GRAMMATICAL ERRORS,BUT IF ITS MESSAGE IS SINCERE ITS LIKELY TO EVOKE A STRONGER REACTION FROM A READER THAN A STORY WRITTEN WITHOUT SINCERITY THAT IS LETTER PERFECT.  WE HAVE MUCH TO LEARN WHEN IT COMES TO SINCERITY. TOO OFTEN WE ARE POLITE AND SWEET TO A PERSON WHILST HAVING  A HIDDEN AGENDA.SOMETIMES WE GIVE AND SHARE SIMPLY TO FEED OUR OWN EGO.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME,THAT WE CAN SAY WITHOUT A DOUBT,WE ACTED SINCERELY FOR THE PLEASURE OF ALLAH?


IM GOING TO CHEW ON THAT BIT OF FOOD FOR THOUGHT
UNTIL U READ AGAIN

MA'ASSALAM

mind your manners

the more i observe the behaviour of kids today, the more grateful i am that i was born in the nineties.i say this at the risk of sounding like a fossil but its true.. whilst kids will be kids with the odd tantrum ,vulgarity,failure to greet ,disregarding the property of others and not saying please and jazakillah (thanking) are simply unacceptable. i find it appalling that when it comes to their kids bad behaviour ,some parents tend to 'ostrich' - the thinking that if 1pretends that there is no problem with a said behaviour then there isnt!absurd! it further makes me grateful that i had a mother of the nineties..

now im one to talk,seeing as i have no children yet(hehe),but i seem to feel that good behaviour and good manners should not be limited to a specific race or creed. it must be taught universally,because to behave is to be human.is it not?  Islam has provided man with a perfect moral code and good manners have been encouraged in a vast number of ahadith. Nabi S.A.W is reported to have said ; “Nothing is heavier in a slave’s balance on the day of judgment, than good manners” and “The best amongst you are those who have the best manners and character”

perfect manners?thats not what im eluding to,for that is beyond our reach.we are however capable of polishing our manners  and making a constant effort to be polite,courteous and caring. children often become what they see and hear,so its our responsibility to provide the right examples.

weekends here,enjoy without forgetting your manners.. 

until you read again

ma,assalaam

life lessons fresh from my oven

*you don't go wrong if you begin with Allah's name
*if you give anything time and care,you will get a satisfactory end result
*some of our mistakes and failures are not always bad things - flopped cake makes a great dessert
*being resilient is the key to success
*you can be whipped,beaten and suffer extreme temperatures,without it making you bitter
*impatience is often the downfall of an otherwise promising start
*white sugar and brown sugar can mix
*don't judge a cake by its decor
*you learn and develop when you test and experiment within limits
*don't bake stress into anything,the result is often below par
  
  and my personal favorite.............

*YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT!!!


 

Fried green chilies

perhaps the title has given it away,as to what todays post is about.for those who havent guessed correctly,not to worry,it could mean any number of things.unless u do know me and still guessed incorrectly ,you simply havent been paying attention..tsk tsk. lol

pregnancies iv been informed come with many changes.at present im privy to two such changes..the 1st of which is constant tiredness and the 2nd is  an appetite the like of which u might find on mars..tho if u ask my mother about the tiredness,shes likely to tell you ive always been this way.she nicknamed me 'the cat' due to the ease at which i would fall asleep in the most random of places..My appetite however is a marvel.ive always had a healthy appetite but on some days  u may present the finest n freshest food to me and id only be mildly interested,if at all. and sometimes i feel as if i could eat anything and everything in sight..that brings me to my first craving;chilies[which popped up 2 days ago] and its still going strong{no pun intended} . i messaged my sister in law to establish if it would affect the baby,n thankfully the doc gave me the all clear! she even provided a recipe which i spared no time in trying out.so at 4 yesterday,i happily ate my fried green chilies with a 'sidedish' of steak!

 while i nurse my heartburn,which the doc warned me about, i anxiously await the arrival of my little one..my mum in law joked that its going to be a cheeky baby due to the nature of my cravings..i make dua[pray]that this baby will be happy ,healthy of mind and body and one day be an ambassador of Islam.Aameen

until u read again
wassalaam

adapted from hegab rehab

 HIJAAB DONTS:

DONT WEAR SKIN TIGHT CLOTHING

DONT SMOKE

DONT WEAR SOMETHING THAT ACCENTUATES YOUR BREASTS

DONT GET CONFUSED OVER WHAT YOU ARE REPRESENTING

DONT GO AFTER A PUNK ROCK LOOK IF IT MEANS SACRIFICING YOUR MODESTY.

DONT EXPOSE WHAT YOU ARE MEANT TO HIDE

DONT PUT SO MUCH MAKEUP ON THAT YOU END UP LOOKING LIKE A DRAG QUEEN

DONT WEAR IMMODEST DRESSES LIKE THIS AND THEN TRY TO HIJABIFY THEM - IT WONT WORK.

DONT LET YOUR HAIR HANG OUT LIKE ITS ON HOLIDAY IN MEXICO

DONT  PLUCK YOUR EYEBROWS INTO WEIRD SHAPES AND DESTROY YOUR FACE

IN SUMMARY.....