"Me and my husband are both 24 yrs old. We have Mashallah 3 beautiful boys together and we have been married now 4 yrs. But not all of those 4 yrs. have been wedded bliss and sweet harmony. i was young and living in California and ran away from home to marry my muslim husband, not knowing much about him.. when my parents found out, we got remarried again a month later. a year later we had our first son. now i have come to the end of this marital bond of ours. He has a very violent temper and becomes very very abusive. He has no control of his anger and he doesn't care who is hurting in the process. Twenty days had passed since our first son was born and he punched in the face n broke my nose. i called the police and had him arrested, worried and paranoid about him coming home and abusing me or our son again.
in the past 4 yrs, he has broken my nose, my hand [twice], punched me repeatedly in the head and face, and landed me in the ER 4 to 6 times a year. i have had enough, i don't want for my boys 2 grow up and abuse their wives, sisters, and daughters, and then eventually me.. do i have the right 2 get a divorce. b/c i have tried escaping, counseling, separation, and even having talked to his parents. and there is no solution besides divorce or early death. Possibly suicide. y are we the weaker sex? his parents tell me the reason he hits me, is cause he loves me... how do you abuse the one you love?? u never will hear that a woman is abusing her husband at least not physically. but women every day, all around the world are being abused physically, sexually, emotionally, and psychologically.... when is it enough? wen does it stop? wen all the women are dead. and there is no more producing.. please give me some guidance on what to do next? how to get out still alive? and y is this happening still?? in our world."
i read the above this morning in shock and disgust.it should not have surprised me as this is a common scenario throughout the world but the extent of her injuries horrified me and it is an indictment on humanity at large.
any form of abuse is unacceptable and it makes me wonder how and why it happens. maybe when i was much younger i may have lashed out physically whilst in anger.but coming of an understanding age i rarely if ever get so incensed to react violently.i may think "im angry enough to hit someone" but it hasnt and i pray that it wont ever reach my hands.
The Prophet PBUH advised regarding anger saying'"The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."
ultimately i guess its just that;a lack of self control coupled with the inability to see the havoc you are wreaking.and possibly the environment in which one is raised..we need to help where we can and make sure such evils are prevented.more often than not we are like the spectators many centuries ago in the circus of rome . it is as if no one cares or we are too afraid to stand up.
until you read again
ma'assalam
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